The Miracle

Since I mentioned in the last post that we were hoping for a miracle to pay for our A/C replacement, I figured I should give an update.  Ladies and Gentlemen- we have a miracle.

Saturday I was desperately trying to crunch numbers, weigh all of our options, and continuing to beg God to show His provision.  Otha could tell I was in thinking mode simply due to my furrowed forehead all morning.  Finally, Otha informed me at 1:40pm that I had until 2:00pm to think/be far, far away in my brain and then I needed to return to reality.  To be present.  *I am so thankful for my husband!*  The best solution I could come up with to sort out my thoughts was to call my dad.  He is wise and my parents handle money really well.  So I poured out all my thoughts to him over the phone and he helped me come up with a few possibilities to come up with $6500 in the next week with as little interest penalty/debt as possible.  By 2:00 I was ready to move forward with some ideas and felt a tad bit more at ease.  However I still felt the weight of having to pay off this huge expense over the upcoming months along with somehow paying for other house expenses like our broken water heater.

Maybe an hour and a half later, my parents called.  They informed me that there was money left from my Gramps after he died several years ago.  In fact, they had been trying to figure out the right time to gift us with $10,000.  That's right, $10,000.  For some of you that may be a small portion of what you have in savings or even your checking account.  But for us, it felt like winning the lottery.  I felt completely overwhelmed and once again absolutely blown away by how God provides.  I had been praying all week that God would either fix our A/C or flat out give us the money to fix it.  Then our comgroup prayed for His provision in this area also.  It seems crazy to pray for God to fix your A/C.  But it seems ten thousand times crazier to not pray for that and then miss out on how He wants to show His power.  I am filled with awe and joy.

Not only is it great to see God blow us away with such a surprise gift, but this has also made Otha and I feel more connected to and thankful for my Nana and Gramps.  We are thankful for the way they chose to love future generations.  This gets us excited to also invest in future generations spiritually, financially, and any other way that God calls us to leave a kingdom legacy that can be built upon.

So that's that.  We prayed.  God provided.

Our New Normal

Since we have moved, I feel that my life is completely different.  Yet Otha still goes to his same job, groceries still need to be purchased, and Asher still needs to be taken care of.  My environment has just changed.

We are currently sleeping in the garage apartment since we had a surprise delay of floor installation in the main house.  Thus our kitchen and living room are functional while the rest of the house waits to be completed.  When we found out very last minute that the floors would not be installed until June, I was pretty frustrated.  Of course people told me "there is probably a reason that the floors won't be in yet".  And of course I wanted to roll my eyes and say "Nope, not this time. No reason for this ridiculous, inconvenient circumstance".  Yet here I am so thankful that we are not yet fully living in the house.  Why?  Oh, because our A/C quit working the night we moved everything from our apartment to our house.  In fact, our whole A/C system apparently needs to be replaced.  So in the meantime we are sleeping in the garage apartment with a fully functional window unit.  So thankful!  *Not thankful that our A/C has completely died, but thankful that we did not move all our stuff and ourselves into a steaming hot house.

Our friends the Marions also moved in this week into one of our bedrooms.  They, on the other hand, are sweating it out in the house being absolute champs about it.  Luckily they are some of the most low maintenance roommates and have not slapped us in the face for inviting them to live with us in a sana.

We are hoping for a miracle and also trying to figure out where to go from here.  Apparently replacing an entire A/C unit is equivalent in cost to adopting a child domestically.  So expensive.  Today we will have a second opinion and we will continue expecting and knowing that God will provide for us in one way or another.  He always does and I am always delighted to see how He does it.  We are confident that He wanted us to buy this house, so we are confident that he is not blown away that our A/C is broken and wants us to learn more about him through this.

A few more initiations into home ownership include a water heater not working, Asher's poop that was flushed in the garage apartment showing up in the main house toilet, and installation fees for basically everything.  The adventure has begun.

I have also started cloth diapers this week.  I. Hate. Asher's. Poop.  On. Cloth.  HATE, I tell you.  Trying to scrape it off into the toilet without a sprayer or diaper liner resulted in poop on my hands, Asher biting my arm while I was kneeling, and me leaving the diaper insert in the toilet for hours.  Sick. Thankfully I have my diaper hero, Courtney Stasny, who provided a sprayer AND liners for us to use while I adjust to this new world.

On a positive note:  we have a washer and dryer.  After going to the laundry mat for two years dragging my pregnant belly and then out-of-the-womb child with me, I am SO, SO thankful for a washer and dryer.  I want to wash everything, all the time, because I can.  Wash, wash, wash.

So that's the Graham update.  New house, new expenses, new adventures.  Loving it.

Pine Sol for the Heart

This Friday I am hosting a clothes swap at our apartment.  Due to the size of our apartment in comparison to other people's dwellings, we usually do not host events here.  Sure, we love having people over, but to cram 25 people in here is not ideal.  Suffocation Station.  But for this occasion I thought "Why not?".  If we are aiming to simplify anyway, it should not be a big deal to swap some clothes in our living room.  This means moving around some furniture.

You see, when furniture is nicely nestled in its spot for two years, little friends named Dusty and Bugsby love to camp out underneath.  Then they invite their friends... Moth Wingly, Crumbalina,  Shedded Hairin, the whole gang.  They play and play, stick together, invite more friends until it's the biggest party under couch #3 this living room has ever seen.  I have to admit, I have murdered their friends with a broom as they made their way to the party.  I have even plotted a massacre of the actual sha-bang.  But due to laziness, a list of other things to occupy my time while Asher is sleeping, and general distain for the posse partying under my couch, I had yet to make a move.  However, today was the day.  Sorry Dusty and Bugsby, but you have overstayed your welcome.

Once I recovered from the size of the hairballs (which I can in no way blame on our invisible pet, only our own shedding), the number of deceased insects, and the unidentifiable crumbs, I went to town sweeping and mopping.  It truly is not a matter of me not deep cleaning in general.  I value cleanliness even slightly above tidiness and am consistently scrubbing counters, dusting, etc to attain true cleanliness.  Our apartment appears to be fairly put together.  But sometimes you need to move the furniture to see the real mess.  I cannot express how refreshing it feels to know that allergens are no longer hiding under our couches and there are no more bugs lurking in ignored places.

This is what I feel is going on inside of me right now.   In the past month, God has been doing a deep, deep cleaning, moving aside the habits that have been nestled in place.  He is revealing the gross sin that so easily crept in and grew over time.  Reading the book "7" has challenged me to face my sin of over-consumption of most things in life, wastefulness, being disconnected from the poor, and not being a good steward of creation.  When God pushed my daily routine to the side, I did not need a magnifying glass to see these hidden defaults.  Although the first glance can be overwhelming, God has been gracious and patient as I pick up the broom and begin sweeping.  But it doesn't stop there.  There needs to be mopping, scrubbing, a resealing of the work he is doing.  Unlike most times God begins to transform my darkness though, I am truly excited about this remodeling of my life.  He did not use guilt, he used a sweet calling me over to a path of more abundant life.  How can I not be excited?

I usually do not recommend books... mainly because when other people recommend Jesus-y books I intentionally do not read the book.  Sinful and rebellious, I know.  Working on that one and I will try not to be a jerk if you recommend a book to me.  But seriously people, the book "7" by Jen Hatmaker has been challenging and hit close to home simply because I am a middle class American.  Another confession besides my disdain for recommended books, is that I read the back cover of "7" and thought "Great, this will affirm how we are already living our life."  So very prideful.  Sure, some of the things Jen fasts from are not a huge struggle for our family.  But other chapters I could not ignore the truth that I have been running away from.  Thank you to my dear friend Lindsey for being thoughtful and generous in giving me this book, for God has used it to do a much needed cleansing.

Moving Right Along...

So our offer was accepted Tuesday and our closing day is May 1st.

I am still in awe of the past week and trying to process everything the Lord has done in us.

By the time our 2 year anniversary comes, we will have bought 2 cars, a house, and had a baby.  I am not sure if that should be labeled "efficient" or "crazy".  Either way, God has provided immensely in all of those situations and we are consistently overwhelmed by him.

As if buying a house is not enough, we are opening back up to fostering.  I emailed the lady in charge of a local fostering agency and it was perfect timing.  She is hosting an orientation on Sunday (which we have already attended one) at which they will decide the schedule for the next set of training classes to get certified.  Also, I had been emailing back and forth with another young woman that we met at our orientation back in the fall.  My last email to her had been November 1st and I had not received a reply.  Weird, but no big deal.  She emailed me out of the blue last week asking if we had taken training classes yet because they are wanting to get certified now.  So who knows, we might end up getting certified with them!  How fun!


It has been way too long since I have posted pictures of Asher.  He is too cute to not share with the world:

Classic Asher smile

Little farmer boy

Our new favorite game, funny every time.

The True Adventure Takes a Turn

Where to begin??  How about "we just put an offer down to buy a house in Bryan, Tx"?

I have so many things to say, yet speechless all at the same time.  

My dear friend Tara put it well:  This is a total 180, haha, and that is typically what happens in your life before you do something. Otha moving back from Morocco, having a baby...I have to say that I kind of love it. I know it keeps you on your toes and sometimes you don't love it, but that's what living in God's plan is about. Him, not us. And His plan always turns out perfectly. Like marriage and Asher.

Amen Tara, I could not have said it better myself. 


Like I said a week ago, we were looking into going overseas.  Monday, Otha came home from staff development day at the new high school excited about a fresh environment if we end up staying.  I must confess- that was confusing.  Otha is excited about maybe staying here.  I am at a place where I could move.  So Tuesday, we got a pretty clear answer from the Lord that we are not going to participate in the opportunity that was in front of us to move abroad.  This made us pay more attention to Otha's revival of patience with living in Bryan.  

While this is all happening, Otha sees a house for sale right down the street.  $55,000 my friends for a 4 bedroom, 2 bath foreclosure house.  We laugh about how crazy it would be if we bought it.  Then we laughed about how crazy it would be if we passed up an opportunity to see the inside of a huge house for such a cheap price.  Friday we meet the realtor at the house and it happened to be sold the day before.  No big deal, move on with our lives, right?  No.  Seeing this house inspired us to look at other foreclosures in the area.  Foreclosures are on housing websites.  Housing websites have other houses on them that are not foreclosures.  Thus we found ourselves looking at non-foreclosure houses.  

Saturday we ventured out with little man and my parents to look at some of the houses- all of them were terrible.  So later in the afternoon, my gracious parents stayed with Asher while he napped and Otha and I set out to conquer the rest of the list.  Before we drove away, we prayed that God would just make it so very obvious to us whether we should buy a house or not.  The first house we came to we adored.  Both of us.  If you have not gotten a clue about how big of a deal it is for Otha and I to love the same thing at the same time- IT'S BIG.  Everything about the house, the yard, the attached apartment, the neighborhood, just made sense to us.  So I gave the realtor a call just to see if we could schedule a showing this week.  "You are at the house right now?  I will call my assistant to come meet you and show you the inside."

I will spare you details of how we adored the inside just as much as the outside.  Adored.

Blah blah blah looked at the rest of the houses on our list, hated them blah blah blah.  

"Should we seriously consider buying this house?" <----- our conversation the remainder of Saturday.  We both felt peaceful about it, not intertwined with my normal emotional response to situations.  

Sunday, the teaching at church hit super close to home for both of us.  It reminded us that we should be filled with the Spirit, not fear.  You should just listen to the teaching.  Seriously.  http://comchurch.com/Home.aspx

I was fearful of commitment, if we spent money on the house not having money for adoption, etc...

Otha was fearful of never leaving Bryan.

Moving forward towards buying this house was moving forward in giving our fears to the Lord and following the Spirit in obedience to where God has us.  

Today we were pre-approved for a loan and put an offer on the house.  We are waiting with peaceful hope.  Sweet, peaceful hope.  I cannot express to you the relief that comes knowing you are walking in obedience.  Sure, we will be disappointed if our offer is not accepted.  But more than that we will walk away either empty handed or with a house key knowing we are free from our fears and God has used the past week to free us.  Praise God, for He is so, so good to us.

The True Adventure

Recently, Otha and I shared our life stories with our church small group.  I did not realize how long it had been since I had verbalized my life to other people until I found myself stumbling over words, trying to convey my journey.  Boy, am I one walking contradiction.  One moment I attempted to describe my forever desire since I was a little girl to live outside the American dream- not go to college, live overseas, not have a conventionally structured family, etc.  The next moment I was confessing how I do not want to move from Bryan, I crave stability, and how I panic if I think of our kids being more than a few years apart.  If someone asked my 13 year old self what my life would be like at 23, I would have told them I envisioned having my hair cutting license, traveling around the world, living month to month, just breathing in new opportunity to live life to the fullest.  My actual life at 23 is quite different.  I am a stay at home wife and a mom with a college degree living in Bryan, Texas lacking a desire to leave anytime soon.

Otha thrives in change, new experiences, and constant adventure.  That is a huuuge reason I was initially attracted to him and why I chose to follow this man the rest of my life.  Because of his distaste for the mundane, I knew our life would never be dull and rarely predictable.  In the depths of my being, that is what I want- a continual change of environment, forcing me to lean on the Lord in the midst of the unknown.  Every other part of me wants to have a heart attack.  Due to this constant inner battle, I am so thankful I married a man who would not let me live in my default of safety and security.  I find myself, even in the midst of conflict over the matter, thanking the Lord that Otha's defaults are different from mine.

 In the past month and a half, Otha has been itching to move somewhere else.  I want to say that I cannot possibly comprehend why he does not find Bryan, Texas thrilling, rich with culture, and never ending with adventures to be had.  However, I am honest enough to admit Bryan is not the most exciting place to live.  After moving back following our very short time in Austin though, I found myself nestling in and finding comfort in this small town filled with people whom I love.  My need for beauty in my environment decreased.  My ambition to attend cosmetology school was placed aside.  My determination to live in a progressive city subsided.  Before I knew it, I was calling Bryan "home"and was so thankful we had moved back to a place that had hosted me during a time of radical transformation in my college years.  So Otha wanting to move did not exactly excite me.  In fact, I am pretty sure I cried every time we had a conversation about relocating our family to a different city.  Continual conversations, continual disagreements, and continual tears.

But guess what?  Our God is so faithful to us!  After sharing our stories with comgroup, they prayed over us for unified vision.  God began answering that prayer within minutes that night, I just did not realize it until a few days later.  Our new friend Kirby approached me when comgroup ended to inform me of an opportunity overseas for Otha to teach English and coach football.  In her kindness and sweet spirit, she freed me to just take the information to process, no pressure to tell Otha.  In the moment, I truly did not know what to do with what she told me.  I had never had a strong desire to go to the region of the world where this opportunity is and in the two days I processed the info, I concluded Otha would not want to go there either.  So I decided to tell him about my interaction with Kirby, thinking we would conclude- "wouldn't that be crazy?" and then move on with our lives.  Of course, that was not the case.  Otha showed extreme interest and asked me question after question of which I did not have any answers to.  By the end of that day, Otha and I realized going overseas is something that excites us both and a real possibility of what might be our next step in life.  We were unified.  Unified vision.

So now we are just exploring, praying, waiting for answers to see what is next for us.  We could move out of the country this summer or live in a America until we are 50.   Really, nothing is definite for us right now other than seeking together, with shared anticipation to see God move in our life.  That, my friends, is an adventure in itself.

Valuable Lessons Learned During Thanksgiving Break:

*Expect minimal rest the night before leaving.  Otha and I were up at least every two hours the night before due to a series of leaks- rain leaking through our ceiling, milk on the bed, Asher’s urine, Asher’s poop, then topped it off with Asher’s spit up.   As much as I could laugh it off, my fatigue level did not find the night quite as funny.  Thus in the spirit of Thanksgiving: “I am thankful for coffee.”

"Mom, it's difficult being a baby.  Cut me some slack."

*When traveling to the beach, pack for EVERY weather situation possible.  The first day at the beach we were freezing due to the cold, aggressive wind.  Contrary, our next adventure at the beach provided excessive heat, making me wish I had remembered my swimsuit.  And let me tell you, I already have wardrobe anxiety.  To have made an extensive packing list for the family, checked everything off, then to find us to be unprepared upon arrival- borderline devastating. 

First day: cold and windblown.

Second beach trip: basking in warmth.

*Don’t expect your 4 month old to love his first experience at the beach.  I had day dreamed about Thanksgiving break when we would introduce Asher to the massive, overwhelming, and gorgeous environment of the ocean.  He would put his hands in the sand and smile, wade in the water with our help and laugh.  So much joy, so many beautiful pictures… expectations failed.  Biggest frown face ever.  Our little boy rejected the surprising and cold rush of water on his feet and the grainy texture of the sand.  Not to mention Asher sports very pale skin, causing the sun to take victory over his complexion.  Eventually I surrendered my dreams and put Asher on a blanket in the shade, far from the water, with his familiar rattle. 

"This is the worst."

"Dad, why is there sand on my feet? Seriously, look."

*Asher loves dogs.  We will not be getting one any time soon.  Trying to get Asher to sleep with dogs barking at a loud volume does not conclude in a successful nap.  Not to mention monitoring dog and baby interactions.  Making sure Asher doesn't pull the dog's hair...  Watching the dog to make sure it does not bite Asher...  Wiping dog slobber off Asher's hand before Asher puts said slobber hand in his mouth.  It's almost equivalent to a young toddler interacting with a baby.  Despite my love for dogs, they will not join the Graham family in the near future.

"Here Willy, eat my hand."

*When running a Turkey Trot, your pride will tell you to keep up with the children in the race.  Kick your pride in the face.  Otha, Ari, Kevin, Asher, and I all embarked on a four mile race the morning of Thanksgiving, which seemed like a good idea at the time.  In the midst of the excitement pushing Asher in the jogging stroller past other runners, I felt like I could fly.  When pushing a baby you get more cheers, high fives, and external motivation than running solo.  However half way through the race, my energy was fading… and continued fading well into the afternoon.  I was down and out with a headache, blurry vision, and nausea a good portion of the day post crossing the finish line.  The image of me trying to catch up with an elementary school girl during the race kept haunting me while I downed ginger ale.  

"Look guys, I earned a medal for only crying once during the race." 

*Take every opportunity to put your child in a jacket with ears on the hood.  No need to explain, you can see for yourself...

Overall, we had an incredible time in Corpus Christi with the Graham-Gossett family!  Nothing beats a holiday spent with family.