Home Birth

Birth happens every day.  All day.  Babies being pushed out of their mother's bodies, taking their first breath, and beginning their journey in this world.  So let me preface this by saying that birth happens no matter where, with who, using or not using whatever mechanisms... if the baby is born and survives then great!  I am not saying there are wrong ways to experience birth (unless they are intentionally harmful to mom and/or baby).  BUT, I am saying I have preferences and passions pertaining to the birth process that have been further molded since finding out we were pregnant.  If you will get offended about why we chose a home birth because you are passionate about your own different experience- stop reading.  I am not here to offend.  I am here to express and record for my own purpose why we chose a home birth.  If you had a wonderful hospital, epidural-filled, C-Section birth, I am so happy for you that your experience was filled with joy and life!  I would not want you to trade that in for something different.  Every moment shapes who you are, so your birthing experience is part of you!  Enough with the prefacing... read at your own risk.

For as long as I can remember, I have had a weak immune system and constantly found myself in a doctor's office.  Medicine and I hung out quite a bit as childhood friends.  Not that medicine was harmful for my body, I just would have preferred empowering my body with natural remedies.  Thus when I was old enough to make my own decisions about my medical conditions, avoiding the doctor became a specialty and medicine was a last resort.  Marrying Otha affirmed the hope I had for a medicine free immune system.  Unlike the majority of the population, he grew up dodging vaccines, over the counter medications, and crappy foods in exchange for natural remedies.  If Otha feels like he is getting sick, he will first evaluate his diet.  Often times more discipline with what he is eating does the trick and if not he will focus on getting more sleep, exercising more, ya know... basic lifestyle things.  Most of us feel like we are getting sick and pop a few pills instead of considering not eating cake for dessert that night.  The worst of his medical struggles consists of the occasional allergies, but other than that he really does not get sick- super man.  Point being: our bodies are capable of functioning well when we focus on natural prevention and empowerment.  So the thought of going to the doctor for the birth was not at the top of my list... especially since IT'S NOT A SICKNESS.  Birthing a child is a completely natural process that women have been doing since the beginning of creation- waaay before anyone decided to be in the medical profession.  So why do we treat it like a sickness?  Why is our default to inject medicine in our bodies, when are bodies were made to push out a human free of intervention?  Why do we live in constant fear that something will go wrong so we must be close to a doctor who can fix it?  I am not saying it will not be painful.  Trust me, I am fully aware that my vagina will become the size of a cantaloupe and it will most likely be the most physical pain by body will ever go through.  But why do we feel the need to numb the process?  When you numb the pain, you numb the relief you feel when the baby comes out.  If my body is going to stretch out that much, I want to feel 100% of the difference when our baby is completely out in this world.  I want the highs and the lows. 

Whew.  Ok so that's just the simple- let's not treat birth like a sickness.  Moving on.  I do not want to be rushed in the birthing process.  If I am 2 weeks late and my labor is 30 hours (God willing this does not happen!) then my body and/or baby is not ready until then.  If the doctor's could have their way, I would have a scheduled date to induce birth on a day they have an opening in their schedule using their meds to make the process go quickly.  Check me off the list.  I would always wonder what it would have been like if I could have just waited a little bit longer until my body was ready.  We hear story after story about women who are either past their due date or their labor is taking longer than what is convenient for hospital staff.  Solution?  Pitocin!  Amniotomy!  C-Section!  Get that baby out of there!!  No thank you.  I’ll take my dear sweet time birthing a human when my body is ready.  No need to complicate things more than what is naturally already occurring in my body.  

Along those lines, I want the freedom to move in a way that is most comfortable for my body during labor.  Somehow, the concept of using gravity to help the baby exit the body has been lost in the system.  “Here lady- lay on a bed horizontally, even though gravity naturally pulls vertically, and push… and by the way don’t be surprised when we cut your perineum because of the whole horizontal-vertical battle going on in your body.”  I want to squat to open up my pelvis to let the baby come out.  Walking around as much as I need will be so helpful spurring on labor and when I sit, I have a choice where I sit.  Might as well give birth in a pool too.  The buoyancy of the water helps relieve the ever-present pressure of baby coming out along with providing a smoother transition for the baby entering into the world- fluid to fluid.   Choices, choices, choices!  I want to read my body and respond to its needs. 

I do not want strangers at the birth of our child - no offense strangers.  It's not an outlier experience for a doctor to be out when you go into labor and thus you have another doctor at your birth with whom you are not familiar.  I’m sure the second doctor is great.  But I don't know you second doctor.  And by the way, I don't know all of you nurses who are in and out of my room.  And you don't know me.  You don't know that I can drink room temperature gatorade way faster than water.  Or that I wanted to adopt all my children, but God completely transformed my heart and gave us a biological child.  Or that I am really bad at cooking.  It's not your fault, really, I do not blame you.  It's just that I want to know the people who will see me completely exposed in birth and I want them to know more about me than my blood pressure.  At the least, I want them to know my husband's name... before the moment that I go into labor.  Thus another reason for a midwife.  We have been SO SO SO blessed to have an incredible midwife who I know and who knows our family.  She comes to our apartment every visit, therefore seeing our home... seeing pieces of our lifestyle and personalities.  But is doesn't stop there; I know that she grew up on a farm and that she cares deeply about her sister and she has a contagious laugh.  She knows how I am feeling about having a child, that we once lived in Austin but God brought us back here, that we cherish our community.  We have built a relationship with her.  One of my favorite things about having a relationship with our care taker is that I can contact her at ANY time with ANY question.  During the first trimester I was having extreme cramps at work so I called her.  What did she do?  She came and brought me herbs, sat with me for two hours, then took me home so I wouldn't have to drive.  I'm sure there are doctors who care about their patients enough to want to do that, but logistically can't.  Our midwife can.  She can care for us to her full potential because she is passionate about God giving us life through children. 

In general, I don’t know how I can choose Natural Family Planning for birth control and then turn to the medical system for pregnancy and birth.  Otha and I both felt that my body was made to function in a natural way to tell me when I am fertile- temperature, discharge, positioning of the cervix, etc.  The signs are all there.  So we really wanted to be in tune with my body instead of adding more hormones (which we all know I do not need more of) through medicinal birth control.  We also felt passionately about not altering my cycle medically and hoping it would return to normal when we were ready to make biological children.  In the same way, my body was MADE to birth a child without medical intervention.  I cannot deny the intricate details of my body naturally triggering refluxes, releasing hormones, expanding, etc in order to birth a child.  Just look at pregnancy.  A woman’s body changes dramatically on its own.  And isn’t it interesting that pregnant women are advised to not take medication because of the effects it can have on both mom and baby?  The medicine considered safe by doctors available for pregnant women is limited… because our bodies were made to carry a baby intervention-free.  The trend thus continues: allow my body to function how it’s made to function naturally.  

I could obviously go on and on about why I am passionate about having a natural home birth.  Please don’t feel like I am knocking down the hospital system.  Although there are some things I do not agree with, I am so thankful for how the medical world helps people in need every single day.  The knowledge and technology available to save lives is incredible!  Let it also be known that I fully believe that C-Sections and medical interventions are necessary when there is a legitimate crisis.  I am 100% aware that I could have complications during my labor and end up giving birth in a hospital.  Yes, I would be disappointed, but it would not be the end of the world.  If our baby is born at the end of the experience, then I am thankful no matter where the event occurs.  However, with the choices I do have today at this moment, I am going to shoot for a home birth.   Birthing tub, music, and my own bed to climb into when it’s all over...yes please. 

Entangled In God's Love = Surprises

Written in October...

I love love love the picture Ryan Price took of our wedding rings entangled in the vines!  It's symbolic to me of how our love is wrapped in something entirely bigger than ourselves, sometimes confusing and messy, but always better than on our own.  In the same way that our rings our safely nestled into the vines, Otha and I are safely nestled into God's plan.

That being said, God's plan is completely unpredictable.  Yes, I believed it before... but still had this false idea of control and my idealistic plans held tightly.  

At the conference Together for Adoption that we recently attended, my desire to adopt was further cultivated into an eagerness.  I had a beautiful plan in my head of what the next 2 years would look like as we took steps towards growing our family.  I even told God whoever he wanted our adopted children to be, I was ok with that... age, ethnicity, sex, special needs.  But the key was I only surrendered our adopted children to Him.  It didn't take long for God to say "Why don't you really trust me with your family? What if I want to bless you with biological children too?"  UGH.  If you know me well, you know I have been set on adopting children for as long as I can remember.  But when it comes to popping out my own flesh and blood- I'll pass.  What a time for me that weekend to struggle with the Lord and finally say "Ok God, I have open hands to what you want to give."

Great timing.  Within two weeks of returning from the conference we discovered we were pregnant.  WHAT?!? As much of a shock this was, I can only imagine what my heart and mind would have done had the Lord not prompted me to be open to biological children days before.  He is so gracious!! 

After the flurry of phone calls and announcing the new baby simmered down, I began to freak out... and not in the "I'm so excited I am freaking out!" kind of way.  Confusion, frustration, and bitterness soon set in.  Why us Lord?  Why not choose a couple that is desperate to birth their own children?  Why didn't you give us more time?  But this, my friends, is how the Lord works with me.  I say something like- "hey God, I am totally willing to participate in your kingdom in _____ way.  I am ready when you are."  Then He replies with- "Great, I am glad you have the faith for that.  Now let me really test your faith by giving you the opposite."  Thus there is a human growing inside of me while there are countless children waiting to be adopted.  Praise God for His patience with me in these times of stubbornness, pride, and rebellion!!  Every. Single. Day.  He molds my heart and pries open my hand to replace my plan with His.  Have you ever had your had pried open?  Painful.  But in the end, God takes my ashes and replaces them with something beyond beautiful. 

Thank you Lord for entangling me SO MUCH in your love that you would bless us with a child.