But sometimes I just need to write. To sift through 1,000 thoughts mingling in my mind, I must sit down with a keyboard and see what comes to life.
I feel like I have been holding my breath the past few months.
Waiting for some big life event to happen.
Or a terrible turn of events.
And nothing has happened.
Our married life has been like a swift moving river- fast paced, rushing around corners of the journey, flooding over obstacles and pushing to the other side. Yet, now the river has emptied into a quiet, calm lake.
For awhile I felt like a crazy person in the serene lake, wide-eyed and soaked from the recent rapids, life jacket still buckled tight, and gripping my kayak paddle with white knuckles.
Slowly, but surely, I began to loosen my grip and relax my posture.
I am realizing I can now exhale. This is a season of peace for our family. This is a safe place where we can just be.
Allow me to explain.
We do not have foster care workers and CPS workers rotating into our house on a consistent basis.
We can give Malia her medications without having to document it, every time, every day for the state's regulations.
Otha can get to work in less than 10 minutes.
Otha's school is less than 0.5 miles from the children's hospital that Malia receives her care from.
So if you do the math, we can get to Malia's appointments in less than 10 minutes. Just typing that out makes me teary.
I plan multiple things on the same day that Malia has appointments. It used to be an all day affair to take her to Houston for each appointment, including having friends watch Asher in Bryan while Otha was working.
People. Cook Children's Hospital is amazing. I bring Asher with me to most of her appointments. You know why? Because it's so close to our house. Because there is FREE VALET PARKING for patients going to appointments in the specialty clinic. Because the nurses blow bubbles for Asher and Malia while they take her blood pressure. Because the receptionist sees that Asher has come with me and therefore prints out superhero pictures for him to color during the appointment. Because every person on Malia's care team talks to Asher just as much as Malia and comments on how much they love his cape. Because he matters to them, just like Malia matters to them.
Malia's therapy appointments here are only 30 minutes long instead of an hour long. Some may see this as a downer. Less therapy- less improvement. However, I see this as an incredible blessing that helps our life feel a little more normal. Five therapy appointments in Bryan would equal five hours every week that we needed to be home, but Malia be awake, and not interfering with dinner time, etc. It was a little challenging. Here, five therapy appointments equals 2.5 hours a week. It just feels more manageable.
I am so thankful I could seamlessly transition to the Fit4Mom village here in Fort Worth. I can still do what I LOVE and teach classes. There was a training this week in the DFW area... which was awesome for it to be so close (and that my mom could watch the kids). Let's be honest, I don't think corporate will ever hold a training in Bryan. Little things like this add up quickly to help us treasure where our time goes.
We get to see my parents and grandpa on a consistent basis. My kids are obsessed with them. So am I.
I could go on an on.
For better or worse, I easily become dependent on living a chaotic life. So when the winds die down and the sun comes out, I panic. The tranquil makes me nervous, like it's too good to be true.
But it is true. And I am so very thankful. I am finally ready to embrace the sweetness this season of life has to offer.
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