I have always had a few passions. Well, okay, I am passionate about a lot of things. If the right circumstance came about, I could become passionate about using a certain type of paperclip, preserving a sloth's habitat, or the Indie film industry. I have strong feelings towards people, things, ideas. Strong thoughts? Nope. Feelings. I am a feeler. And apparently, strong feelings lead to passions.
Growing up, I thought I needed to find a job that incorporated all of my passions. "The Perfect Job." I always thought that my passions existed so I could fulfill said perfect job. Turns out, my jobs really just fueled my passions and equipped me for future life circumstances.
In middle school, high school, and college, I had the opportunity to work with kids with special needs. Talk about life-giving and challenging all at the same time. I cannot express how much I LOVE my families I worked for and thought the experience surely was a preview for my adult career. At the time, I thought I would pursue a job working with people with special needs. So I decided my freshman year of college to attain Education and Kinesiology degrees to become an Adaptive P.E. teacher. This would allow me to be active, wear comfy clothes every day to work, and best of all, spend time with some of the most amazing kids. Unfortunately, taking education classes zapped the life out of me and I felt like I should go in a different direction.
It may or may not have been the wrong choice, but I shifted my studies to obtain a B.S. in Sociology. Studying people. In the midst of taking riveting, thought-provoking (and impractical) classes, I set my sites on a career combining a few of my other passions: styling hair and the sex slavery industry. In my 20 year old confidence, I had a vision of eventually opening up a free cosmetology school overseas for women who had been sold into the sex industry and were then rescued. These women benefit from having a skill or trade to support themselves as they begin a new life post-slavery. Thus, I would teach them how to cut and style hair. It was going to be amazing, obviously. First step: attend cosmetology school.
When Otha and I got married, we moved to Austin, TX with the plan of Otha teaching while I worked part time and attended cosmetology school. We toured quite a few schools and I had my heart set on one. However, Otha ended up getting an interview in College Station which lead to us moving back to B/CS for Otha to teach. My save-the-world dream was put on a shelf for awhile. In the midst of disappointment, I went ahead and looked for a job... any job... to kill time until I could attend cosmetology school.
I ended up with an absolutely incredible opportunity: Early Head Start Home Visitor. You guys. I get all the feels when I think about this job. It was a privilege to come into homes and assist families with literacy, parent education (keep in mind, I had raised ZERO children), healthy living choices, and overall being an advocate. I had the opportunity to learn Conscious Discipline (go look it up RIGHT NOW), help a mom study for her GED, support a grandmother who was raising her grandchildren via foster care, help a single mom receive counseling services, the list is ENDLESS. I came home every day completely spent, yet my heart was overflowing. Due to our sweet Asher surprise, I only worked for Early Head Start for 10 months. Little did I know how much that job would equip me in compassion and knowledge for our parenting journey.
I thought I would NEVER EVER find a job I loved as much as Early Head Start. After having Asher, I toyed with the idea of going back to work as a Home Visitor. Allow me to tell you a secret: social work jobs pay pennies. Shocking, I know. If I had gone back to work, I would have had to pick up a second job just to cover childcare expenses for Asher. So we decided it was best for me to stay home. Truly, I loved staying home with Asher and was so thankful for it, yet I missed working with my families. I went from being surrounded by co-workers, families that I dearly loved, and lunch breaks with friends to being at home staring at a baby in our quiet apartment.
Then I found FIT4MOM. You all know how passionate I am about FIT4MOM. If you don't, well, know that I am. The combination of fitness, community, and mothering together satisfied other aspects of myself that Early Head Start did not fulfill. I can't count the number of times I have thought to myself, "I have the best job!!!" in regards to instructing FIT4MOM classes and now owning a franchise. However, I feel torn when I think that... because I thought that to myself when I worked for Early Head Start. I am passionate about both. Yet, they are different. They fulfill separate passions of mine and yet have both been so life-giving. 'It's a healthy tension' (shout out to Comm Church).
*Sigh* I am getting offtrack. I thought my passions were to point me in the direction of my fated career. Then in turn, my jobs have given me tools for my passions. All those years I worked with kids with special needs were not to prepare me to be an Adaptive P.E. teacher, to work for Special Olympics, or run a camp for these kids. God was preparing me to be Malia's mom. For some reason, I never thought I would parent a child with special needs... just volunteer or have a career in that category. Yet, here I am, doing the same things I did in middle school, high school, and college but for my own daughter.
What about hair? Duh. Malia. Again. I don't think I will ever go to cosmetology school. However, I am glad it was on my radar. It inspired me to give friends hair cuts (some successful... others not so much; sorry Justin, Brandon, Adam...), style hair for weddings, and pay attention to detail in hair care (don't look at my own hair as an example). I now cut Otha's and Asher's hair which saves our family money AND I semi know what I am doing with Malia's hair. If I had not pursued my passion for styling hair, I would have had a mild heart attack when Malia showed up at our door. Braids? No problem. Twists? I'll give it a try. Weave? Ask me in 15 years.
Early Head Start? Conscious Discipline. I am already a terrible parent half the time with these tools in my belt. I don't even want to imagine what I would be like without helpful Conscious Discipline philosophy and vocabulary. ALSO, working with a few families who were knee deep in foster care gave me a well-rounded perspective of the system. I no longer only thought about the kids. The biological parents, relatives, friends, teachers... everyone is affected by a foster care case. Not to say that it lessened the severity of the kids' situation in my mind, instead it expanded my compassion to everyone involved. This laid a foundation for us to enter into foster care truly wanting redemption and second chances for the biological parents, equipping for relatives, and respect for case workers.
FIT4MOM? This is my current job. And I'm obsessed. Reflecting back on my other jobs that God has used to equip me for my daily life, I can only imagine what FIT4MOM is preparing me for. I am hopeful it's for an improv gig. Or to be Jimmy Fallon's co-host. Either will do.
It's funny how I have made countless plans for my life. Then God graciously uses those "plans" to steer me in a different direction and prepare me for really what's in store. There are still passions in me that are untapped. Yet, I no longer feel anxious that I have to find a career/activity/purpose that fulfills all of them at once. I can embrace all of my passions, all of me, while knowing that there are seasons for each one. Just because I am teaching fitness classes right now does not mean I don't have a heart for advocating for families in need. Or just because I am only using my hair skills for Malia, does not mean I still don't long to help women sold into the sex industry. Or because we decided to have another biological kid, doesn't mean I am not heart-broken for kids waiting to be adopted. I used to be so harsh on myself for not doing it all and feeling so torn about how to juggle all of my passions. Slowly, ever so slowly, I am learning to be kind to myself and trust that God has a plan that's exponentially better than mine.
geoteknik
ReplyDeleteit’s very amazing. Thanks for it.
geoteknik